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Owning your worth. Yeah…that old chestnut.
I took a poll.
Owning our worth and our value is the thing women in middle age are struggling with the most.
It makes me sad. It makes me mad. It makes me want to march and protest and break some shit. It makes me want to take a nap.
Because I struggle with this too. And it’s exhausting.
I struggled with this as a young adult, convincing myself I wasn’t talented enough to be a professional artist. I continued by settling in relationships with men I knew were not right for me, but I didn’t think I deserved better. I worried about being a good mom because I had convinced myself I was a quitter and never stuck with anything. I stayed in a bad marriage for way too long because I was afraid I’d fail and fall on my own. I get anxious every time I try something new in my business, because let’s face it…who the hell am I to tell anyone anything at all?
See that last one? That last one: “who the hell do you think you are?”
Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard an iteration of that line in my head, I would be on a yacht off the coast of Greece living off of my inner critic’s endowment.
Now I’m not saying that men don’t have this same kind of inner talk. I’m sure they do. But not being one of them I can’t speak for them. I do know women, however. And I know that it SEEMS like women suffer from this “who the hell do you think you are” syndrome way more than men do. Is it because women have been marginalized throughout time? Sure. Is it because we’ve been called the weaker sex for centuries? Of course. Is it because the myth is that once we aren’t pretty and young and thin and can no longer procreate we’re pretty much useless? Natch. So, thanks, all of human history.
But also, repeating the mantra “who the hell do you think you are?” is on us. Why? because it keeps us small. And staying small keeps us safe. I love safe. We all do. We need safe…sometimes. But not now. Not in middle age. This is shit or get off the pot time, ladies. The reason middle age is so bananas is because something inside of us is demanding our attention. We no longer have time to sit around feeling small. (Also the menopausal weight gain will make you feel huge anyway, ya might as well own that shit!)
I will be doing a series of blogs for the next few months on this topic: Owning our value and our worth. I’ll be thinking about it, working on it, and exploring it right along with you. Let’s be in this together! We really are stronger together, whether that means just joining a group online to say “me too”, showing up at a women’s gathering to discuss, commenting here on this rad blog (totally doubting myself, but pretending I’m buying it), or really digging in to your story with fierceness and no apologies.
I’m hoping that by the time the new year rolls around we will be strutting around like peacocks (oh crap, those beautiful proud ones are male) …strutting around like lions with our manes puffed…(crap, also male), strutting around like BEYONCE! Even she gets the “who the hell do you think you are?” stuff. So know what she did? She created an alter ego named Sasha Fierce….yaaasss girl! So, by the new year we will be strutting around like Sasha Fierce, rocking 4 inch heels and skin tight clothes on a stage. And by that I mean, strutting around in our sensible clogs wearing jeans and flannel at the grocery store.
Don’t forget to join the Facebook group: Reclaim Middle Age. It’s a place to put all the hormonal rage you may be feeling.
Let’s do this ladies!
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I’ve dedicated myself to helping women just like you get clarity and direction so they can live the life they’ve always dreamed of and one of the most powerful ways to accomplish this is with my Midlife Rescue Session, a free one-on-one chat to help you remember your power and reclaim your voice. To grab your spot right now, click here.