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Treat Yo’ Self…to some of your own awesomeness.
So, ladies…we’ve determined we aren’t owning our value. We are doubting ourselves, being wishy washy with our desires and selling ourselves short. In the last post I listed out the many ways this shows up. (If you missed that post go here: Not owning your worth.) Today I would like to offer some tips and tools to begin the process of stepping into your own value. Disclaimer: This shit takes work and time. Work and time. Work and time. If you think about how long you’ve NOT owned your value and you’ve been devaluing yourself, understand that changing is simple but it’s not easy. It’s a journey of a 1000 miles, here are the first few steps that you can take.
1. Pay attention.
Pay attention to YOURSELF. How does your body feel when you’re saying yes instead of no? Where is there tightness when you’re unsure of what to do? When you get uncomfortable, ask yourself why! Awareness is the absolute very most important part of any transformation.
2. Don’t run away.
When you start paying attention to they way you are feeling please stay present. We have been told that feeling bad is not ok. That’s horseshit. We are human and we have a full range of emotion for a reason. There are going to be times that we feel happy and joyful and excited. And other times we will feel scared, angry, lost, and sad. One of the fastest ways to start owning your value is to be with those feelings that suck. Sitting with the feelings, asking yourself what the truth is, and making it out the other side is immensely empowering.
3. Know the difference between want and should.
When making decisions of any kind, understand that there is a world of difference between doing what you think you “should” do and doing what you want to do. One is a decision made from fear, the other from passion. Begin to explore what it would be like if you made your choices from a place of deep and unyielding passion…even the choice between a salad and fries becomes easier. You “should” have the salad, yes, but what you passionately want is to feel in control and strong…suddenly the salad becomes a powerful decision instead of the one you are pissed off about. (and then eat the fries anyway)
4. Celebrate yourself!
Women are the absolute best at waving away compliments, congratulations, and acknowledgements. We simply have been taught not to take them in. Cut that shit out right now. Go back and look at what you’ve accomplished. Look at how far you’ve come. Own it. Feel it. Go back in time and remember what it was like and compare it to who you are now. Enjoy your progress and celebrate it. You can even brag a little, it’s o.k! And when people tell you you’re awesome, accept that maybe you are!
5. Do something different.
We are hardwired for habits. We love doing the same thing over and over, including all the bad thoughts and things we do that we wish we didn’t. We have a very small window of time between thinking of something, wanting it, and then acting upon that impulse. We have just 5 seconds, actually. Try changing one thing in 5 second intervals. The second your impulse (the one you *wish* you could change) kicks in, notice it and in 5 seconds make a different choice. Start small, like I don’t know…flossing your teeth. After brushing your teeth you want to be done and just go to bed, but then you see the floss. As soon as your brain says “fuck it, just get in your warm bed”, you have 5 seconds to pick up the floss, rip off a couple of feet, and get it between your teeth.
In just a few seconds you’ve made a different choice. It’s that simple to change. Simple, but not easy. You can do this with thoughts too. The next time you’re having a field day of telling yourself what a loser you are, the instant you notice you’re doing it you have 5 seconds to choose a different thought. Simple, but not easy. But super duper effective. Try it and see what happens. If you need more info, see this blog post here.
We are at a critical time for owning our own worth. We must be the change we want to see in the world. Our daughters and our sons are counting on us.
Need a Midlife Rescue?
I’ve dedicated myself to helping women just like you get clarity and direction so they can live the life they’ve always dreamed of and one of the most powerful ways to accomplish this is with my Midlife Rescue Session, a free one-on-one chat to help you remember your power and reclaim your voice. To grab your spot right now, click here.