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We’re not worthy…we’re not worthy.
Something has started to become very clear to me lately in my work. And that is this: while we don’t feel we are worthy of success, love, luxury, rest, or abundance, we do somehow feel that we are worthy of punishment, fallout, consequences and blame. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F*%@?? Seriously. How can we have such diametrically opposing beliefs simultaneously?
It seems counter intuitive, doesn’t it? That we can think ourselves so unworthy, undeserving and incapable of limitless goodness, but we can also be completely convinced that all the bad stuff that happens because of choices we’ve made is exactly spot on.
And it doesn’t start in middle age. It starts way younger. I’ve watched my daughter exhibit these kinds of beliefs. This starts around middle school age. Before then, when we’re little, we pretty much think we’re always the bees knees. It takes the world a few years to knock the crown off our heads.
So what is a middle aged gal supposed to do? We just want to feel better. We want to know we’re ok, on the right path, and are worthy of the love, happiness, and success we all crave.
Here are a few tips and suggestions to get you started:
You’ve heard me say it before, and I’m sayin’ it again. Making gratitude a daily habit is the #1 fastest way to shift your perspective. I’m a big fan of recruiting a gratitude buddy to help hold you both accountable.
The best 2 question:
“Is this true? How do I know?” The next time you’re finding yourself accepting blame, guilt, not enough-ism, ask yourself if what you’re thinking about the situation is true. (Remember your feelings can be real, but are they the truth?) Then look for evidence. I’d bet you won’t find any to support your shitty feelings.
Be vulnerable and open:
Turns out allowing yourself to feel vulnerable and share that with others makes you stronger, not weaker. Super ironic, no? So many folks see vulnerability as weakness, but it’s actually a sign of strength when you can be aware of your vulnerability and show it to others. First off, it gives others around you permission. Secondly, it will draw people to you who applaud and respect your authenticity. Third, they will share and then you have a tribe. Fourth, you will bring any shame into the light, and shame can’t live in the light. Fifth, your stories of your weakness will start to dissolve. Good, right? Try it.
As you move into the new year, consider what new thought patterns and stories you might tell yourself about what, exactly, you deserve. If you’re like most people, you’ve been telling yourself the wrong story. Shifting your thinking is simple, but not easy. The key is awareness. Try these tips and see what happens!
Need a Midlife Rescue?
I’ve dedicated myself to helping women just like you get clarity and direction so they can live the life they’ve always dreamed of and one of the most powerful ways to accomplish this is with my Midlife Rescue Session, a free one-on-one chat to help you remember your power and reclaim your voice. To grab your spot right now, click here.